Vicious circles

25 01 2008

I get it from my Mum, who got it from her Mum.  I worry about things, I always have done, and probably always will.  I worry about big things, I worry about little things.  I even worry about things that happened years and years ago.

When I worry I can’t sleep, and then I worry that I can’t sleep and I am then stuck in a vicious non-sleeping cricle, which is why I am awake at midnight, writing this after a frantic search for my bank account details.  As you may have guessed from that last statement, I am worried about money, which due to a series of unforseen circumstances is screwing me over, so I am going to have to transfer money back from my mortgage account and blah blah blah.  See, I worry.

 The other thing on my mind is that my Grandad is in hospital.  He had a hip replacement last week and should have been home, but due to a blood clot in his lung (apparantly its a heart problem) he is still in, but could eb home by the weekend.  So thats not so much of a worry, but still its going over in my mind. 

Ive been thinking about shool as well (12 years ago) and things still worry me from there, im sure that most of it nobody else remembers apart from me, yet still I worry about it.

What can I say, apart from the fact that I am one of lifes worriers, and I can’t do anything about it…and that worries me.



3 responses

25 01 2008

You are so freakily similar to me sometimes it scares me.
So you go to bed and lie there for a bit and something will just pop into your mind, it doesn’t matter if you were really tired before that point because now you are wide awake. And that thing, whatever it is just repeats itself over and over in your mind and you head starts to buzz with this thought. It could be something really stupid or really serious but that’s it you may as well just get up coz they’ll be no sleep tonight.
One of my heads favourites is if I have to get up early it just won’t let me sleep at all becuase I start to worry about getting up early. I had it on Wednesday night.
I sometimes find going downstairs and lying on the sofa with the TV on works. Just really low volume. It creates a background noise which stops my head buzzing.

25 01 2008

You are right about the buzzing in the head, and especially about the needing to get up early one. Last night was just ridiculous.

I was having a conversation with Ebby at 1am via the power of facebook. That seemed to help and I drifted off sometime around 2ish.

27 01 2008

Ah, so here you all are! I don’t normally get chance to muck about in the internet uninteruppted but this week I do. I have a farmhouse to look after, which is a B&B these days, with three dogs, no guests, and Sky TV (in Sky Sports) screened through a huge data projector. It’s a shame it’s a bit wonky, but who am I to complain? As May-Z pointed out, I’m being paid to watch Cricket and have a holiday from Andi and Steph – please, should I move out?

Lovely insight into your mind though Spex, a worrier eh? I used to worry and I still do, but not that much. I worry that Worcester is shit and I hate it, but if wasn’t for KP and being groomed to have a very decent job at work I’d be upping sticks I reckon.

However I can’t offer a solution to your sleeplessness, I have always maintained that some physical excercise will exhaust you enough to sleep, and some studying to occupy the mind! How does that sound?


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